Song Hee's Peer Review for Min Hyung's Thesis-1st draft

Writer’s Name: Min Hyung Lee
Title of essay: Interior design for people of all ages and abilities

1. Government and communities need to consider the accessible design to help to get rid of physical obstacles for elderly and feeble people who have difficulties access public facilities.

2. Introduction has a good hook to understand the difficulties of family who has a disabled family member and the main subject naturally moves toward the hardship to access the public facilities for elder and feeble people in our society.

3. Writer should generalize his own idea or make it more objective because I see several sentences starting with personal pronoun “We” and “I”.

4. (a) Yes
(b) Yes
(c) Yes
(d) Yes
(e) Writer didn’t completely finish the essay but, I can tell Yes

5. “functional limitation”
“The designed world cannot satisfy everyone perfectly”

7. Conclusion is not finished yet and should have more concrete ideas as his final suggestion.

9. If more specific data support the main ideas, it will complete this thesis very well.

10. Ending of the essay need to reflect main ideas again and summarize the body.